Unsafety Net

I have Clinic next Monday, and one of the things I need to talk to them about is maybe upping my depression/anxiety meds. I’ve been having severe bouts with SadBrain lately, and while I have hella circumstances that warrant being sad, I don’t like being crippled by ennui just because a cat video looked at me wrong.

Last night, even though I KNEW BETTER, I watched a documentary about coral on Netflix. I knew it was going to deal with the devastation on our reefs caused by climate change, but I love coral and wanted some beautiful imagery. I wasn’t disappointed on either front, and when one of the guys involved with the project started crying over the devastation of his beloved corals, so did I. And I cried for a long time.

And I thought, not for the first time and CERTAINLY not the last, that I’m a little bit glad I’ll be dead sooner than later. I don’t want to live on this planet anymore. And I honestly couldn’t tell if that was SadBrain or Cynicism talking.

Either way, both them bitches need to shut up.