Man, I can’t even tell you how busy – STUPID busy – I’ve been. Sorry. I should have posted this one ages ago (last week) because it’s a quick check in.
I had another check-in with Doctor Goslin last Wednesday. It was a strength check, a meds adjustment check, and a general well-being lookover. I’d messaged her earlier with some concerns about my energy levels and OH MY GOD that became a whole thing because my insurance decided to be awful.
So, my energy levels have been in the toilet. Seriously in the toilet. Friday nights I was going to bed around 11, my usual bedtime. And sleeping until 2 in the afternoon. And then taking a nap at 5 until 8. And then back to bed at midnight. During the six hours I was awake, I accomplished nothing. Not even ‘played a video game’ “nothing”, just…stared at the internet and/or watched tv shows I’ve seen a million times and know by heart “nothing”. I like sleep, don’t get me wrong, and I’ve historically spent entire weekends sleeping a whooooole lot. But it’s not something I’m doing for enjoyment anymore. I sleep because I’m THAT freakin’ tired. Unfortunately I’m not really in a position to be able to waste time.
So as I posted before, she called me that evening and we set things up to get me a scrip for adderall. It’s a controlled substance – because let’s be honest, it’s legal meth – so I had to wait for a physical prescription could be mailed to me. We also started me on a low dose of Celexa to supplement the Wellbutrin I’m already taking for depression, because Celexa has better anti-anxiety properties and my fatigue COULD be caused or at least exasperated by depression. I got the scrip, took it in to the local Frederick Meyers..
…and was told Cigna wouldn’t pay for the adderall because they don’t approve of its use in people over 19 years old.
Thus began the Dance of the Morons, where we appealed, they said no, Dr. Goslin tried to clever her way around the restriction, and was shut down again because they do not cover adderall as a treatment for fatigue in ALS patients. But they WILL cover it for MS patients.
MS IS A FREAKIN SISTER DISEASE YOU JERKS. THEY ARE VERY SIMILAR.
Only mine is a guaranteed death sentence, but whatever.
SO they said no every possible way they could in response to every single way we tried to weasel through it. In defeat, during our checkup appointment I was given samples (a lot of samples) of a drug called Nuvigil, which is for sleep apnea, narcolepsy, and shift work disorder.
…I didn’t know there was such a thing as Shift Work Disorder either.
It’s diagnosed for people who work widely varied shifts, like nurses, to stay awake when they are working crappy hours. Just like it says on the tin. Anyway. Yeah. She gave me samples of that. We also doubled my Celexa dose, to be slowly ramped up over two weeks.
We also checked my strength, and she saw no change at all since I saw her two months ago. This is AWESOME. Super slow progression FTW. As she put it, she’d very likely be seeing me for years and years to come. Yayyyyyyy <3 During the visit we also chatted a little bit about assisted suicide, but that...that is its own post. That's been brought up a lot lately, and I want to talk about that. Later though. Later. So in the end of the appointment, she was really happy about how well I'm maintaining my strength, and she saw no reason to see me for another three months (but I'm welcome to email her with questions or concerns of course). I had been scheduled for a clinic day soon, but she canceled that because I don't need it. I started the Nuvigil the next day, and it seemed like I was a little more awake. Friday, a little better. Saurday? I slept until 9AM, screwed around on the internet for awhile, wrote that last emotionally draining post, and then took a nap from noon to two - because I WANTED to. And then I went through my closet and got rid of two bags of clothes, cleaned all the catboxes, tidied my room, went through some things in my office....SUPER productive day. I felt pretty normal. So, Nuvigil is awesome. I'm not sure what we're going to do about that in the long run. We'll figure things out. She always does. So that's the haps, man. I'm doing good. Meds are helping me retain a normal level of activity, my strength remains unchanged, and life is pretty freakin' great.