Inappropriate Friends Are the Best Friends, Part 2

We went out early so that we could have brunch before the clinic appointment; Danielle, Gecko, and I. We went to a favorite cafe in Portland, around 10:30 AM. While waiting for our order to be taken, Danielle looked around at the cafe’s other patrons.

“Wow, there’s a lot of retirees here. This is the life. Just…come on down here, and read the paper and have breakfast.” She looked over my shoulder, gesturing with her chin. “They brought crosswords. That’s adorable.”

I could easily come to love that lifestyle. Wake up later in the morning, meander down to a delicious breakfast, and enjoy a slow morning with a book. Trouble is, when I don’t have to worry about work, I won’t be able to ‘meander’ anywhere. I’ll stop working because it is impossible for me to operate a computer in order to do my job. That means I can’t feed myself either.

“When I’m retired,” she said wistfully.

I pictured Danielle and myself at the tables, me in a power chair, shooting daggers at her with my eyes while she pointedly ignored me in favor of her book. She’s threatened to do terrible things while I’m helpless. Like dress me in pink. I was going to tell her my inappropriate joke, so I started, “I’ll be disabled.”

She cut me off matter-of-factly. “You’ll be DEAD.”

…and then we disturbed all of the retirees with our howls of laughter.

3 thoughts on “Inappropriate Friends Are the Best Friends, Part 2

  1. hehehee Yes, I am evil. Yes, I am awesome. But let me clarify…I said at some point just before my blasphemy that I won’t be able to retire until I’m 70…with that on my mind and my wistful thoughts of lazy retirement I blurted out my epic inappropriateness.

    Cuz, yes, when I’m 70, she definitely won’t be disabled. *grin* *shrug of truth*

    Also, if she pisses me off I’m also gonna dress her in orange AND pink with boas and tiara sparkle magic, then parade her behind down the waterfront. You betcha!! \o/

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